SIGN-OF-THE-TIME STORIES

We used to be a society of rapists. Now we're a society of stalkers and therapists, and those are the same people.

I find I now cringe when people say they've googled me, wondering if that last doctor's appointment has shown up somehow. But I'm not impervious to my environment, or above it, even minutely. The second I meet someone new, or a friend goes on a new date, or my kid has a new teacher, I run to my computer and Google them. Extensively. Sometimes I hunt for a photo far beyond what feels emotionally normal. We're a visual society after all, so let's take a real, deep look.

If I find nothing at all on Google, or MySpace, or Facebook, or LinkedIn?rare, but it happens?I grow intensely suspicious. Either way, the analysis, psycho and otherwise, begins online. Sometimes I have to call in a friend or colleague, so we can conference-Google the tough cases.

I'm getting a little afraid to go to MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, or blogging. I can't believe how much time I spend. But it's evolution, what are you going to do? We need outlets for all the analysis we gather from our stalking excursions. At least my little Ebay problem is somewhat under control?talk about addictive. (Good thing we're all part therapist now, because everything is addictive). I have to say that Ebay is the single most clarifying identity experience of my postmodern lifestyle. I'm not bound by mere citizenship any more. I've gotten a promotion. I'm either a buyer or a seller at any given moment.

Best of all, I like my partial continuous interest in things as they flicker by, while I eat my lunch, while I talk on the phone, while I Instant Message, while I read my news, while I email, while I do my work, while I exercise, while I look out the window and dream.

Flip attitude mostly aside, in a transient, techno-centric, enormous country like ours, these are important ways of connecting, like religion and love. We need to connect to each other, as well to ourselves, particularly our subclinical driving forces?shame, fear, greed, anger, desire, curiosity, love, and our perennial need to name and lasso our identity. We all need a platform to be heard.

Every era has had its defining characteristics. What's compelling to me about the human condition and spirit now is universal reach, our true ability to touch something else in some manner, no boundaries. We live in an intellectual and emotional marketplace, not a state with borders and citizens. In commerce, war, and socially, this boundless quality is changing us, for better and worse. The plausibility is as limitless as the human connection, so we're now not just a globe, but an expanding universe of ideas and ability to implement them.

Never mind judging it all too much, too fast. Too much judgment can be false, and also creates too healthy a need for lying. If people don't feel like they have to explain themselves, they're more likely to. If we demand accountability before we give ourselves over to understanding, we'll get neither.

Here's what I explore: What new ills do our cures create? What new cures do our ills create? I need to explore that because I want to be ready. I may need to buy stuff, or adapt in some way. But that's okay. Change is good. I'm flexible. I've got a cell phone, a credit card, and a cursor. How hard it can it be?